Actionable Optimism #6

30 pages of this book were plagiarized
from my diary from when I got trapped
on the inside of Riverpoint Behavioral Health
and yet the primary criticism
was that there was no “I” present
in the “nonsense delirium
of vague rambling.”

The fuck is I anyhow?

I doesn’t live here anymore.

I just got a text
asking if I wanted to join the rally
in Raleigh
for Donald J. Trump
for thumb-fucking president.

I responded:
I’d rather eat feces.

Sometimes
I interact with AI
or, at least,
a lack of reality.

Like last night
when I hallucinated my favorite poet
was sitting at the Harris Teeter bar
drinking mimosas and texting
someone of great social and political import.

She sold me some sticky orange crystals
and told me to smoke them but with what
she wasn’t sure
and when I asked for advice
about how to proceed in the poem
she told me to give up.

Just do puppetry, Joseph!
Do puppetry until your hands revolt! 

I’d been smoking too much meth
while watching every entry
into the Puppet Master franchise 
so puppetry’d been on the mind,
fried as it was.

(for the record
Leech Woman
is my fav)

<3 <3 <3

This is your drugs.

This is your drugs on hope.

Actionable Optimism #7

Getting heavy into pills
in 2003 is to be super ahead
of your American time
but in 10th grade D. did
& (allegedly)
banged a Dobermann
on a dare at a party
to which I wasn’t invited

Naturally
for the next two years
this became the topic
of wide speculation,
ridicule, & cruel
adolescent laughter

Sometimes he’d sit with us
at lunch & graciously (appear)
to take whatever crap we doled

Through it all

Nobody ever asked
about the wellbeing
of the goddamn dog

D. OD’d
shortly after graduation

Died

While we went on
to do whatever this is 

Some of us
are now involved
in human
& even animal
supposed
rights

Most
probably believe we’re at least
semi-decent humans

as the fucking tragedy
of the current
drowns the whole

RESIDENT ALIEN

Name
Joseph

Preferred Name
I don’t even want the one I have already

Name of Co-Resident if applying as a team
Does my dog count?

Phone Number
Quit phones in 2011

Street Address
Somewhere I’d rather not be anymore

Street Address Line 2
I’ve never understood why this question is necessary

City, State / Province
Please see “Street Address”

Postal / Zip Code
Please see “City, State / Province”

Email
example@example.com. Just kidding! I’m not William fucking Vollmann! It’s totalslutforgirlcock666@netzero.com

Your professional website URL
Not applicable. I am ashamed every day, the moment I open my eyes

Your social media addresses (Instagram, Facebook, etc.)
Please don’t make me

Please provide a brief description about yourself, your work and interests
From 1993 -1998 I was obsessed with the comic book Spawn for reasons I wouldn’t learn about until 2021. I’m working on this in therapy but haven’t told my spouse anything about it and I fear it’s beginning to cause friction in my marriage. Lover of tigers and tree kangaroos. Pescatarian. Clinically obese. No sexual preference whatsoever (but see “email address”). Hate my day job but have to keep it due to “reasons.” Probable addict.

Please copy and paste a copy of your resume/CV. Please list any awards, publications, or other discipline-specific accomplishments you may have.
The dreaded DEMONSTRATED HISTORY has come aboard!

Have you previously participated in any other residency programs, workshops, or conferences in the discipline for which you are applying? 
Nobody will let me

List where and when you completed any of the above.
Internally, like in that one interview with Deleuze where he rants about travelling without leaving his recliner

Have you previously been awarded a residency at our organization? If so, what year(s) and a brief description of the project(s) you completed:
No, but I did pay $150 not to be allowed to show up in the years 2019 and 2021

Why do you believe that a residency at our organization will benefit you and your project more than a residency elsewhere?
If I don’t breathe the trees, I suffer tremendous

Please note the discipline most closely aligned with your anticipated project. (If you choose "other" please describe.)
Oh no! Not discipline…

Describe the project you would be working on at our residency and how it ties into the mission?
Clearing my sodden brain of the vast cobwebs that clog it, amiright? 

Be specific about your project. Limit your answer to no more than 100 words.
Forgive me, father, for I suck so hard at this. And Girlcock, too!

Based on the project you have described, what phase of this project would you be working on during the residency? Limit your answer to no more than 50 words.
Pure. Latency.

Does your planned project have any space or equipment requirements beyond those provided in a residency cabin?
One service dog (I’ll supply him, but he needs his space), four gallons of Ocho Añejo Tequila, two bottles of Nellie’s key lime juice, and four twelve-packs of Food Lion Nature’s Promise organic seltzer, please and thank you

If you are applying for a two-week residency, please explain why your project needs that time.
The clocks are coming to kill us all

Joseph Goosey lives in North Carolina. He is the author of one full length collection of poems, Parade of Malfeasance (EMP Books, 2020), and one novel, Casey Anthony, Renowned Trapeze Artist (Schism Neuronics, 2024).